Thursday, February 10, 2005

Feeling distinctly average

For a good while when i was young, my parents used to preach about me being whatever i wanted to be and doing whatever i wanted to do. I guess things chnage more so than i could have thought. They built me up to this image of pure choice of my own future, before it became apparent to me that amongst my peers i'm nothing more than a middle man of marks.

We've just come out of a meeting for people thinking about university and Oxford/Cambridge in particular, it was all sounding good before the lecturer pointed out that based on GCSE scores, they might consider someone with only 2 A*s (I got 8 As and 4 Bs). Of course, if someone with less than that aced their AS-Level exams then 'of course' they'd be in with a fighting chance, but as i'm on course for nothing more than Cs and at a push, one or two Bs. Well it leaves nothing to be said.

So i'm left feeling deflated and a little more than misled. At least i had a night to enjoy myself before this mornings self-depreciation. New Found Glory rocked the academy hard and i still have tinnitus, not that i'm complaining. Emma did though, for which i can only be responsible.

I guess i've fallen back into that question, why do we even try?

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